What God has taught me this year…

My church has an event every Wednesday night called Midweek where 7th-12th graders gather to worship and learn about God.

Last Midweek, we did something a bit different than normal. Students spoke onstage about what God had shown them in the past year. After that, every student sat down in their small group and shared what God had been teaching them with the group.

How to deal with suffering. To kick down comfort zones. To get involved in the church, find Christian community, or take a brave, scary next step. There were so many things that God was (and still is!) teaching teens in my church.

It’s amazing that God had worked in these students’ lives so much over the past year. It’s amazing how much I bet God has worked in your life this past year. And it’s amazing how He’s worked in mine.

As you all know, I’m a writer.

Okay, that’s not very big news. If you’re reading this blog post, you’ve probably known that I’m a writer for a while. You probably know that I love God, I seek to glorify Him in my writing, and that I have big dreams for my writing.

But did you know that I’m a writer who struggles with feeling like I’m not good enough? Did you know that I’m a writer who sometimes believes the lie that I need to make a lot of money from writing, to write viral articles, or have thousands of readers to be good enough?

It wasn’t other people who put this pressure on me. It wasn’t God, my parents, or my friends.

I really want to be an author. And to make a living out of it, I need to write popular books or use my writing to supplement a business. I’ve believed that I need to grow my platform tremendously and start publishing books before I go to college to make it as an author.

It doesn’t make it any easier that I entered high school this year. With high school comes a lot of pressure. People started asking me if I know where I want to go to college or what I want to do when I’m older. Why am I expected to already know what college I’m going to? I wondered. And what if I don’t want to go at all?

But that’s not an option. My parents worked hard to have the life they lead, and they want me to go to college so I can be financially stable. The only problem is that if I go to college, I won’t be a full-time writer—at least not for a while.

But I want to be a full-time writer. So I decided that I want to start making a living as a writer at an early age—I decided that I want to sign a book contract before I graduate high school. These words are written on a blackboard hanging on a muted grey wall in my room: “I will have 10,000 email subscribers by the end of high school.”

10,000 email subscribers is a lot.

I want to make myself known in the writing world, get articles published on popular websites, and more. I want to prove myself and make sure I have the tools I need to make a living as an author when I grow up. I feel a sense of urgency to become an author.

But what I’ve realized is that my words are in God’s hands.

The timing is in God’s hands.

My life is in God’s hands.

If God doesn’t want me to be a writer, then He’s going to make sure I don’t become a writer. If God has something amazing in store for me at college, He’s going to send me to college. God’s measure of success is so much different than mine.

Am I sharing the Gospel and strengthening my relationship with God? Am I building meaningful relationships with others? Am I being the light Jesus has called me to be and serving others with my writing?

That’s what really matters.

I could be the most influential and wealthy person in the world and fail if I don’t love and follow God. Many influential and wealthy people have failed because they don’t follow God.

God matters more than my writing. So do my siblings, friends, and every other soul around me. They should be my focus.

I shouldn’t be desparate to make it as a writer, because if God wants it to happen, He’ll make it happen. Yes, I will work hard. But I need to recognize that I’m not in control of my future—God is.

This world isn’t permanent. The job I have in this world isn’t permanent. The rewards I earn in this world aren’t permanent.

But the rewards I’ll earn in Heaven are. I want to strive for Heavenly rewards, not earthly ones. I want my life to make an eternal impact.

Remember today that your life is in God’s hands. He pursues His kingdom agenda, an agenda that we might not see the full extent of. But we should follow where He leads because He will guide us in the direction that will make the most eternal impact. Earthly rewards fade!

Isn’t the best reward in Heaven?

What has God been teaching you in your life? I would love to hear about it in the comments!

P.S. I encourage you to read Hebrews 11—it relates to this post. Here are some of my favorite verses from the chapter.

“And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.” -Hebrews 11:6

“For he was looking forward to the city that has foundations, whose designer and builder is God.” -Hebrews 11:10

“But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city.” -Hebrews 11:16

“He considered the reproach of Christ greater wealth than the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking to the reward.” -Hebrews 11:26